The questions every relative asks
Expect a friendly interview soon after you arrive, and again from each new relative you meet. In many families these questions are a way of showing interest, not prying, and nobody expects a detailed answer. A short reply with a smile, then a question back to them, is the skill to practice. Here is what you will hear:
- Marriage: शादी कब कर रहे हो? (shaadi kab kar rahe ho?, when are you getting married?) At a cousin's wedding it becomes अब तो तुम्हारा नंबर है! (ab to tumhara number hai!, now it's your turn!).
- Work or school: नौकरी कैसी चल रही है? (naukri kaisi chal rahi hai?, how's the job going?) or the same question about पढ़ाई (padhai, studies).
- Money: कितना कमा लेते हो? (kitna kama lete ho?, how much do you make?) You don't have to give a number.
- Your body: मोटे हो गए हो (mote ho gaye ho, you've put on weight) or कितनी पतली हो गई हो (kitni patli ho gayi ho, you've gotten so thin). It is usually an observation or concern, not an insult, even if it sounds blunt to you.
- Your stay: कितने दिन के लिए आए हो? (kitne din ke liye aaye ho?, how many days are you here for?)
Respectful, casual or close: picking the right 'you'
Hindi has three words for 'you,' and the verb changes with each. With relatives, the choice depends on age and closeness, and families differ, so listen to what your cousins use. A simple rule: आप (aap) for anyone older, तुम (tum) for anyone your age or younger.
- Use आप (aap) with every older relative and add जी (ji) to what you call them: मौसी जी (mausi ji), चाचा जी (chacha ji), दादी जी (dadi ji). The verb gets the polite ending too: बैठिए (baithiye, please sit).
- Use तुम (tum) with cousins your age, younger siblings and kids: बैठो (baitho, sit).
- तू (tu) is for the closest people, such as a sibling or a best friend: बैठ (baith). Some families use it even with a parent as affection, but with an aunt or uncle it usually sounds rude.
- When elders call you तुम (tum) or तू (tu), that's warmth, not disrespect. Keep answering them with आप (aap).
Short answers, and polite ways to dodge
Hindi verbs change with the speaker's gender. Where a line differs, the note gives the form a woman would say. English words like career and final year are completely normal here.
अभी नहीं, पहले करियर सेट करना है।
Reading: Abhi nahin, pehle career set karna hai.
Meaning: Not yet, first I want to get my career settled.
Casual Hinglish, the most common honest answer to the marriage question. Works for men and women.
जब होगी, सबसे पहले आपको ही बताऊँगा।
Reading: Jab hogi, sabse pehle aapko hi bataunga.
Meaning: When it happens, you'll be the first to know.
A friendly dodge that flatters the asker. A woman says बताऊँगी (bataungi).
अभी पढ़ाई चल रही है, फ़ाइनल ईयर है।
Reading: Abhi padhai chal rahi hai, final year hai.
Meaning: I'm still studying, it's my final year.
Answers both the job and the marriage question at once. Same for men and women.
बस, गुज़ारा हो जाता है!
Reading: Bas, guzara ho jata hai!
Meaning: Oh, I get by!
Said with a laugh when someone asks about your salary. It closes the topic without sounding cold.
हाँ, और अब आपके हाथ का खाना खाकर तो और बढ़ जाएगा!
Reading: Haan, aur ab aapke haath ka khana khaakar to aur badh jayega!
Meaning: Yes, and after eating your home cooking, it'll only go up!
A joke reply to comments about weight gain that also compliments the cook. Relatives usually laugh and agree. Same for men and women.
अरे छोड़िए, आप बताइए, आपकी तबीयत कैसी है?
Reading: Are chhodiye, aap bataiye, aapki tabiyat kaisi hai?
Meaning: Oh, never mind me. Tell me, how is your health?
The polite way to change the subject. Asking an elder about their health is always welcome.
Turning down another helping
Hosts and aunts keep serving because a first no often sounds like good manners, not a real no. Say it warmly, more than once. A compromise like बस आधी (bas aadhi, just half) usually ends the back-and-forth.
बस, बस! पेट भर गया।
Reading: Bas, bas! Pet bhar gaya.
Meaning: That's enough, really! I'm full.
Say it with a hand over your plate. Same for men and women, because the verb agrees with the stomach.
बहुत अच्छा बना है, पर सच में और नहीं।
Reading: Bahut achchha bana hai, par sach mein aur nahin.
Meaning: It's delicious, but honestly, no more.
Praise first, then refuse. This is the version that tends to work.
When your Hindi runs out
Many heritage learners understand far more than they can say. Saying so early, in Hindi, makes relatives slow down and cheer you on.
मुझे हिंदी समझ आती है, पर बोलनी उतनी नहीं आती।
Reading: Mujhe Hindi samajh aati hai, par bolni utni nahin aati.
Meaning: I understand Hindi, but I can't speak it that well.
The single most useful sentence for the trip. Same for men and women.
एक बार फिर से बोलिए ना, थोड़ा धीरे।
Reading: Ek baar phir se boliye na, thoda dheere.
Meaning: Could you say that once more, a little slower?
Polite form for elders. The ना (na) at the end makes it softer, not negative.
इसको हिंदी में क्या कहते हैं?
Reading: Isko Hindi mein kya kehte hain?
Meaning: What do you call this in Hindi?
Point at something and ask. Elders love teaching you words, and it starts a conversation.
At your aunt's house the night before a wedding
You've just arrived in Delhi for your cousin's wedding and walk into your aunt's home, your mother's sister. Dinner is already on the table.
Aunt
अरे, आ गए! आओ बेटा, आओ। सफ़र कैसा रहा?
Reading: Are, aa gaye! Aao beta, aao. Safar kaisa raha?
Meaning: Oh, you're here! Come in, dear, come in. How was the trip?
You
नमस्ते मौसी जी! अच्छा रहा, बस थोड़ा लंबा था।
Reading: Namaste mausi ji! Achchha raha, bas thoda lamba tha.
Meaning: Hello, Auntie! It was good, just a bit long.
Aunt
और बताओ, नौकरी कैसी चल रही है?
Reading: Aur batao, naukri kaisi chal rahi hai?
Meaning: So tell me, how's the job going?
You
बढ़िया चल रही है, मौसी जी।
Reading: Badhiya chal rahi hai, mausi ji.
Meaning: It's going great, Auntie.
Aunt
और शादी? अब तो तुम्हारा नंबर है!
Reading: Aur shaadi? Ab to tumhara number hai!
Meaning: And marriage? Now it's your turn!
You
जब होगी, सबसे पहले आपको ही बताऊँगा।
Reading: Jab hogi, sabse pehle aapko hi bataunga.
Meaning: When it happens, you'll be the first to know.
Aunt
हाँ हाँ, देखेंगे। चलो, पहले खाना खाओ। एक पूरी और लो।
Reading: Haan haan, dekhenge. Chalo, pehle khana khao. Ek poori aur lo.
Meaning: Sure, sure, we'll see. Come on, eat first. Have one more.
You
बस, बस मौसी जी! पेट भर गया।
Reading: Bas, bas mausi ji! Pet bhar gaya.
Meaning: That's enough, Auntie, really! I'm full.
Aunt
अरे, एक पूरी से क्या होता है?
Reading: Are, ek poori se kya hota hai?
Meaning: Oh, what difference does one more make?
You
अच्छा, ठीक है, पर बस एक।
Reading: Achchha, theek hai, par bas ek.
Meaning: Okay, fine, but just one.
The audio uses the AI voice you hear in ChitterChatter conversations.
Customs that shape the visit
Touching elders' feet
In many North Indian families you greet grandparents and older relatives by bending to touch their feet, or reaching toward their knees. Punjabi families often say पैरी पौना (pairi pauna) as they do it; elsewhere you'll hear प्रणाम (pranam), and चरण स्पर्श (charan sparsh) is the formal phrase, common on the phone and in messages too. The elder touches your head and blesses you, often with जीते रहो (jeete raho, live long) or खुश रहो (khush raho, stay happy). Families vary a lot, so watch your cousins and copy them. A नमस्ते (namaste) with folded hands is always respectful when you're unsure.
Hinglish is normal
Family conversation in Delhi and most Hindi-speaking cities mixes in English freely: job, office, career, settle, package. If a Hindi word escapes you, use the English one and keep the Hindi grammar around it, as in मेरी जॉब अच्छी चल रही है (meri job achchhi chal rahi hai, my job is going well). Your cousins probably talk exactly like this.
Introducing yourself at a wedding or festival
At a wedding or a Diwali gathering you'll meet dozens of relatives, and many won't place you right away. Introduce yourself through your parent: मैं सुनीता का बेटा हूँ (main Sunita ka beta hoon, I'm Sunita's son), or बेटी (beti, daughter) for a woman. For festival wishes, many people simply say Happy Diwali in English; दीपावली की शुभकामनाएँ (Deepavali ki shubhkamnayein) is the formal greeting you'll see in messages.
From a real practice session
Our team ran this situation in ChitterChatter using the description in the practice section below. A synthetic voice spoke the learner's lines; the AI character's replies and the feedback are what ChitterChatter produced. Here are the first lines of the conversation, lightly trimmed.
Aunt
अरे, यहाँ बैठो! बताओ, नौकरी कैसी चल रही है?
Reading: Are, yahan baitho! Batao, naukri kaisi chal rahi hai?
Meaning: Oh, sit here! Tell me, how's the job going?
You
हाँ मौसी, मेरी नौकरी अच्छी है। मैं एक कंपनी में सॉफ्टवेयर इंजीनियर हूँ। वहाँ बहुत काम रहता है, पर मज़ा भी आता है।
Reading: Haan mausi, meri naukri achchhi hai. Main ek company mein software engineer hoon. Vahan bahut kaam rehta hai, par maza bhi aata hai.
Meaning: Yes, Auntie, my job is good. I'm a software engineer at a company. There's a lot of work, but it's fun too.
Aunt
अच्छा, मज़ा भी आता है, पर तनख़्वाह ठीक मिलती है ना?
Reading: Achchha, maza bhi aata hai, par tankhwah theek milti hai na?
Meaning: Oh, so it's fun too. But the pay is decent, right?
You
जी मौसी, तनख़्वाह ठीक है। आप चिंता मत कीजिए, मैं बचत भी करता हूँ। वैसे आप ने इतनी मिठाई क्यों बनाई है?
Reading: Ji mausi, tankhwah theek hai. Aap chinta mat kijiye, main bachat bhi karta hoon. Vaise aap ne itni mithai kyon banai hai?
Meaning: Yes, Auntie, the pay is fine. Don't worry, I save money too. By the way, why did you make so many sweets?
Aunt
अरे बचत भी करते हो, यह तो अच्छा है। लो, एक गरम पुरी और ले लो, अभी भी गरम है।
Reading: Are bachat bhi karte ho, yeh to achchha hai. Lo, ek garam puri aur le lo, abhi bhi garam hai.
Meaning: Oh, you save too? That's good. Here, have one more piece of hot fried bread, it's still hot.
You
नहीं मौसी, अभी बहुत पेट भर गया है। आपकी पुरी बहुत स्वादिष्ट थी, लेकिन अब और नहीं खा सकता। वैसे, शादी की तैयारी कैसी चल रही है?
Reading: Nahin mausi, abhi bahut pet bhar gaya hai. Aapki puri bahut swadisht thi, lekin ab aur nahin kha sakta. Vaise, shaadi ki taiyari kaisi chal rahi hai?
Meaning: No, Auntie, I'm really full now. Your fried bread was delicious, but I can't eat any more. By the way, how are the wedding preparations going?
Aunt
अभी तो सब तैयारी तेज़ है, कल पाँच बजे से फोटो शुरू होंगी। तुम कोई गाना सुनना चाहते हो?
Reading: Abhi to sab taiyari tez hai, kal paanch baje se photo shuru hongi. Tum koi gaana sunna chahte ho?
Meaning: Everything is in full swing right now. Photos start tomorrow at five. Do you want to hear a song?
You
गाना... मैं तो सारे कजिन्स के साथ डांस करने वाला हूँ, पर गाने में मेरी आवाज़ थोड़ी खराब है। आप कौन सा गाना सुनना चाहेंगी?
Reading: Gaana... main to saare cousins ke saath dance karne vala hoon, par gaane mein meri aawaz thodi kharab hai. Aap kaun sa gaana sunna chahengi?
Meaning: A song... I'm going to dance with all my cousins, but my singing voice isn't great. Which song would you like to hear?
Aunt
मुझे पुराने शादी वाले गीत पसंद हैं, जो सब मिलकर गा सकें। तुम कौन सा गाना पसंद करते हो?
Reading: Mujhe purane shaadi vale geet pasand hain, jo sab milkar ga saken. Tum kaun sa gaana pasand karte ho?
Meaning: I like old wedding songs that everyone can sing together. Which song do you like?
You
मुझे 'मेहंदी लगा के रखना' अच्छा लगता है, पर मुझे बोल थोड़े याद नहीं रहते। आपकी आवाज़ तो बहुत अच्छी है, आप शुरू करें तो हम सब साथ में गाएँगे।
Reading: Mujhe 'Mehndi Laga Ke Rakhna' achchha lagta hai, par mujhe bol thode yaad nahin rehte. Aapki aawaz to bahut achchhi hai, aap shuru karen to hum sab saath mein gaayenge.
Meaning: I like "Mehndi Laga Ke Rakhna," but I can never quite remember the words. You have a lovely voice, so if you start, we'll all sing along.
Aunt
हा हा, मेरी आवाज़ बस चलती है, पर चलो साथ में कोशिश करेंगे।
Reading: Ha ha, meri aawaz bas chalti hai, par chalo saath mein koshish karenge.
Meaning: Ha ha, my voice is just okay, but come on, we'll give it a try together.
What the feedback pointed out
What the learner said
नहीं मौसी, अभी बहुत पेट भर गया है। आपकी पुरी बहुत स्वादिष्ट थी, लेकिन अब और नहीं खा सकता।
A clearer way to say it
मौसी, आपके हाथ का खाना बहुत स्वादिष्ट है।
This worked: you turned down more food politely while warmly complimenting your aunt's cooking. To build on it, you can also praise her skill by saying the food she makes with her own hands is delicious.
What the learner said
जी मौसी, तनख़्वाह ठीक है। आप चिंता मत कीजिए, मैं बचत भी करता हूँ।
A clearer way to say it
बस मौसी, दाल-रोटी चल जाती है!
You deflected the salary question by reassuring your aunt, but the goal was to dodge it with a light joke. The feedback suggested a lighthearted reply instead, one that means "Just enough to get by, Auntie!"
What the learner said
आप क्या करती हैं जब फ्री टाइम मिलता है?
A clearer way to say it
जब आपको फ़ुरसत मिलती है, तब आप क्या करती हैं?
You used the English phrase for "free time" where an everyday Hindi word fits naturally.
Rehearse the visit before you land
Practice with an aunt who asks everything, so the answers come out easily when the real questions start.
- Open Create with AI and paste the description below. Add whether you're her niece or nephew so her questions and your verb endings match, or describe your own relatives and city.
- Talk out loud: answer each question in one short sentence, then ask your aunt something back.
- When she offers more food, refuse warmly twice before agreeing to a small amount.
- Read your feedback: see which goals you covered, compare one of your lines with the clearer version, and ask the AI Coach about polite versus casual forms if you mixed them.
Describe it like this when you create the activity
Hindi, at my aunt's home in Delhi the night before my cousin's wedding. The AI plays my aunt (my mother's sister), who asks when I'm getting married, about my job and salary, comments on my weight, and keeps offering more food. I need to answer politely using the respectful form, dodge the personal questions with a light joke, and refuse more food. I'm a heritage learner who understands more than I can say, around beginner to intermediate level.
Questions learners usually ask first
How do I tell relatives I understand Hindi but can't speak it well?
Say it early, in Hindi, with a smile: मुझे हिंदी समझ आती है, पर बोलनी उतनी नहीं आती। Most relatives will slow down, mix in English, and encourage you. Then keep answering in short Hindi sentences, even imperfect ones; trying matters more to them than getting it right.
Do I have to touch my relatives' feet in India?
Not always. Many North Indian families expect it for grandparents and other elders, especially when you arrive, leave, or meet them at a wedding or festival, while other families just greet with folded hands. If you're unsure, ask your parent before the trip or follow what your cousins do.
How do I answer relatives who keep asking when I'm getting married?
Keep it short and light, then change the subject. Saying your career comes first, or promising they'll be the first to know, works in most families. Asking about their health or their children turns the conversation back to them without being rude.
Is it okay to mix English words into Hindi with family?
Yes. Mixing English into Hindi sentences, often called Hinglish, is how many families in Delhi and other cities talk every day. Keep the Hindi grammar around the English word and you'll sound natural.