Who sits where at the round table
Formal business meals are usually in a private room with a round table and a turntable in the middle. Seats follow rank, so wait to be shown where to sit. The host's side will often say 您请上座 (nín qǐng shàngzuò), inviting you to the seat of honor. It is polite to wave it off once before accepting.
- The main host, the 主陪 (zhǔpéi), usually sits facing the door. In many restaurants that seat has the tallest folded napkin or a different-colored one.
- The guest of honor, the 主宾 (zhǔbīn), sits at the host's right. The second guest often sits at the host's left, though this varies by region.
- The deputy host, the 副陪 (fùpéi), sits directly across from the host, near the door. This person often orders, keeps glasses filled, and leads toasts at that side of the table.
- Everyone else fills in by rank, with the most junior people from each side nearest the door, where they can talk to the servers.
The order of toasts
The host opens the drinking, usually with a toast to the whole table. In some northern regions the host makes several opening toasts in a row. Then the deputy host toasts, and after that people start toasting one another one-on-one. As a guest, make your first toast only after the hosts have made theirs, and toast the host before anyone else on their side.
- Toasting someone back is 回敬 (huíjìng). The senior guest usually returns the host's toast on behalf of the visiting side.
- When you toast someone one-on-one, stand up, and walk over to them if they are more than a seat or two away. Hold the glass with your right hand and support it with your left.
- When you clink glasses with someone senior to you, keep the rim of your glass lower than theirs. If they lower theirs too, don't turn it into a contest; one small dip is enough.
- If someone is too far away to reach, a light tap of your glass on the turntable or table counts as clinking with them. This is common in some regions and unusual in others, so follow the room.
Your two-sentence toast
Say thanks, say a wish, then invite the drink. Use the host's surname and title, such as 王总 (Wáng zǒng) for a company head named Wang or 李经理 (Lǐ jīnglǐ) for a manager named Li. The first three lines together make a complete toast: two sentences, then the line that invites the drink.
感谢王总今天的盛情款待。
Reading: Gǎnxiè Wáng zǒng jīntiān de shèngqíng kuǎndài.
Meaning: Thank you, Mr. Wang, for your generous hospitality today.
Formal and standard at business meals. 盛情款待 is a set phrase for warm, generous hosting.
祝我们合作愉快！
Reading: Zhù wǒmen hézuò yúkuài!
Meaning: Here's to working well together!
The safest business wish. For a long-standing partner, 祝我们合作长长久久 (zhù wǒmen hézuò chángcháng-jiǔjiǔ) wishes the partnership a long life.
我敬您一杯。
Reading: Wǒ jìng nín yì bēi.
Meaning: Let me drink to you.
The core toasting verb is 敬 (jìng), to offer with respect. Use 您, the polite you, for anyone senior. To toast the whole table, say 我敬大家一杯.
我干了，您随意。
Reading: Wǒ gān le, nín suíyì.
Meaning: I'll finish mine; you drink as much as you like.
A respectful line from a junior to a senior person. 随意 releases them from finishing their glass.
我代表我们公司，回敬大家一杯。
Reading: Wǒ dàibiǎo wǒmen gōngsī, huíjìng dàjiā yì bēi.
Meaning: On behalf of our company, let me toast everyone in return.
For the senior person on the visiting side, after the host's opening toasts.
Bottoms up or as you like
干杯 (gānbēi) literally means dry the glass. At a business dinner with liquor served in small glasses, it can really mean finish it, especially in a one-on-one toast. 随意 (suíyì) means drink as much as you like, and it is your friend if you want to pace yourself. Many people today say 干杯 loosely and only sip, but if your toasting partner drains the glass and shows you the empty bottom, they are inviting you to do the same.
- If you want to set a gentle pace, say 咱们随意 (zánmen suíyì, let's each drink as we like) as you raise your glass.
- Pouring for others before yourself is good manners. A common saying, 酒满茶半 (jiǔ mǎn chá bàn), describes the custom: fill liquor glasses to the top and teacups halfway.
Declining a drink without losing face
Pick one main reason, say it early, and stick with it all evening. A second reason can back it up if someone keeps pushing. Then toast with tea or juice so you still take part in every round.
不好意思，我今天开车了。
Reading: Bù hǎoyìsi, wǒ jīntiān kāichē le.
Meaning: Sorry, I drove here today.
Widely accepted, because drunk-driving laws in China are strict. Expect a friendly counter: someone may suggest calling a 代驾 (dàijià), a driver who drives you home in your own car.
我以茶代酒，敬您一杯。
Reading: Wǒ yǐ chá dài jiǔ, jìng nín yì bēi.
Meaning: Let me toast you with tea in place of liquor.
The standard, gracious way to toast without drinking. 以茶代酒 means using tea in place of liquor. Stand and toast exactly as you would with liquor.
我酒量不行，少喝一点，您随意。
Reading: Wǒ jiǔliàng bù xíng, shǎo hē yìdiǎn, nín suíyì.
Meaning: I can't handle much, so I'll just have a little. Drink as you like.
For when you do drink but want to sip. 酒量 (jiǔliàng) is how much a person can drink.
明天一早还要开会，今天真的不喝了。
Reading: Míngtiān yìzǎo hái yào kāihuì, jīntiān zhēn de bù hē le.
Meaning: I have a meeting first thing tomorrow, so I'm really not drinking tonight.
A backup reason that is hard to argue with. 不 stays bù before the first-tone 喝.
A toast, a refusal, and the bill
A partner company is hosting a dinner for your team in Shanghai. The host, Mr. Wang, opens the toasts. You toast him with tea, the deputy host pushes you to drink liquor, and at the end you offer to pay.
Host
来，我先提一杯，欢迎各位远道而来！
Reading: Lái, wǒ xiān tí yì bēi, huānyíng gèwèi yuǎndào ér lái!
Meaning: Come, let me start with a toast. Welcome, everyone, after your long trip!
You
王总，感谢您今天的盛情款待。祝我们合作愉快！我以茶代酒，敬您一杯。
Reading: Wáng zǒng, gǎnxiè nín jīntiān de shèngqíng kuǎndài. Zhù wǒmen hézuò yúkuài! Wǒ yǐ chá dài jiǔ, jìng nín yì bēi.
Meaning: Mr. Wang, thank you for your generous hospitality today. Here's to working well together! Let me toast you with tea in place of liquor.
Deputy host
哎，喝茶怎么行？来一小杯白酒嘛！
Reading: Āi, hē chá zěnme xíng? Lái yì xiǎo bēi báijiǔ ma!
Meaning: Oh, come on, tea won't do! Have one small glass of liquor!
You
真不行，我今天开车了。
Reading: Zhēn bù xíng, wǒ jīntiān kāichē le.
Meaning: I really can't. I drove today.
Deputy host
没事，叫个代驾嘛！
Reading: Méi shì, jiào ge dàijià ma!
Meaning: No problem, just call a driver to take you home!
You
明天一早还要开会，今天真的不喝了。改天我请您喝茶！
Reading: Míngtiān yìzǎo hái yào kāihuì, jīntiān zhēn de bù hē le. Gǎitiān wǒ qǐng nín hē chá!
Meaning: I have a meeting first thing tomorrow, so I'm really not drinking tonight. Another day I'll treat you to tea!
Host
好好好，不勉强。随意，随意！
Reading: Hǎo hǎo hǎo, bù miǎnqiǎng. Suíyì, suíyì!
Meaning: All right, all right, no pressure. Drink as you like!
You
王总，这顿我来吧。
Reading: Wáng zǒng, zhè dùn wǒ lái ba.
Meaning: Mr. Wang, let me get this meal.
Host
哪儿的话，你们是客人，已经结过了。
Reading: Nǎr de huà, nǐmen shì kèrén, yǐjīng jié guo le.
Meaning: Don't be silly, you're our guests. It's already been paid.
You
那就让您破费了，下次我请！
Reading: Nà jiù ràng nín pòfèi le, xià cì wǒ qǐng!
Meaning: Then thank you for treating us. Next time it's on me!
The audio uses the AI voice you hear in ChitterChatter conversations.
From a real practice session
Our team ran this situation in ChitterChatter using the description in the practice section below. A synthetic voice spoke the learner's lines; the AI character's replies and the feedback are what ChitterChatter produced. Here are the first lines of the conversation, lightly trimmed.
Host
欢迎您来上海！很高兴和您一起吃饭。我敬您一杯，祝我们合作顺利！
Reading: Huānyíng nín lái Shànghǎi! Hěn gāoxìng hé nín yìqǐ chīfàn. Wǒ jìng nín yì bēi, zhù wǒmen hézuò shùnlì!
Meaning: Welcome to Shanghai! I'm very glad to have dinner with you. Let me raise a glass to you. Here's to a smooth partnership!
You
谢谢王先生，和您们一起合作我很开心。我用茶敬您，希望我们生意越来越好！
Reading: Xièxie Wáng xiānsheng, hé nínmen yìqǐ hézuò wǒ hěn kāixīn. Wǒ yòng chá jìng nín, xīwàng wǒmen shēngyi yuè lái yuè hǎo!
Meaning: Thank you, Mr. Wang. I'm very happy to be working with all of you. I'll toast you with tea, and I hope our business keeps getting better and better!
Host
谢谢您的好意，我也很期待未来。我们先来尝一小杯白酒吧，为合作干一杯，您觉得呢？
Reading: Xièxie nín de hǎoyì, wǒ yě hěn qīdài wèilái. Wǒmen xiān lái cháng yì xiǎo bēi báijiǔ ba, wèi hézuò gān yì bēi, nín juéde ne?
Meaning: Thank you for your kindness. I'm looking forward to the future too. Let's first try a small glass of Chinese liquor and drink to our partnership. What do you say?
You
谢谢王先生，我平常不太喝酒。可以用茶和您干杯吗？
Reading: Xièxie Wáng xiānsheng, wǒ píngcháng bú tài hē jiǔ. Kěyǐ yòng chá hé nín gānbēi ma?
Meaning: Thank you, Mr. Wang, but I don't usually drink much. Could I toast you with tea?
Host
当然可以，您的选择最重要。那我们就以茶代酒，祝合作顺利。您觉得上海的这道红烧肉怎么样？
Reading: Dāngrán kěyǐ, nín de xuǎnzé zuì zhòngyào. Nà wǒmen jiù yǐ chá dài jiǔ, zhù hézuò shùnlì. Nín juéde Shànghǎi de zhè dào hóngshāoròu zěnmeyàng?
Meaning: Of course. What you prefer matters most. Then let's toast with tea in place of liquor, to a smooth partnership. What do you think of this Shanghai red-braised pork?
You
红烧肉很好吃，味道很香。不过有点儿油。我想问，这道菜怎么做的？
Reading: Hóngshāoròu hěn hǎochī, wèidào hěn xiāng. Búguò yǒudiǎnr yóu. Wǒ xiǎng wèn, zhè dào cài zěnme zuò de?
Meaning: The red-braised pork is delicious and very flavorful. It's a little oily, though. May I ask how this dish is made?
Host
这道菜用酱油和糖慢炖，肉就会很软很香。您平时喜欢什么口味呢？
Reading: Zhè dào cài yòng jiàngyóu hé táng màn dùn, ròu jiù huì hěn ruǎn hěn xiāng. Nín píngshí xǐhuan shénme kǒuwèi ne?
Meaning: It's slow-braised with soy sauce and sugar, so the meat turns very tender and flavorful. What flavors do you usually like?
You
我喜欢吃清淡一点的菜，有时候也喜欢辣的。上海菜不太辣，对吗？
Reading: Wǒ xǐhuan chī qīngdàn yìdiǎn de cài, yǒushíhou yě xǐhuan là de. Shànghǎi cài bú tài là, duì ma?
Meaning: I like lighter dishes, and sometimes spicy ones too. Shanghai food isn't very spicy, right?
Host
是的，上海菜比较偏甜。我举杯，再邀请您喝一小口白酒，为我们的合作加点风味，您觉得呢？
Reading: Shì de, Shànghǎi cài bǐjiào piān tián. Wǒ jǔbēi, zài yāoqǐng nín hē yì xiǎo kǒu báijiǔ, wèi wǒmen de hézuò jiā diǎn fēngwèi, nín juéde ne?
Meaning: That's right, Shanghai food leans sweet. I'll raise my glass and invite you once more to take a small sip of Chinese liquor, to add a little flavor to our partnership. What do you say?
You
谢谢王先生，我真的不太能喝白酒。我还是用茶跟您干杯，可以吗？对了，这个小笼包味道很好，您平时喜欢吃吗？
Reading: Xièxie Wáng xiānsheng, wǒ zhēn de bú tài néng hē báijiǔ. Wǒ háishi yòng chá gēn nín gānbēi, kěyǐ ma? Duì le, zhège xiǎolóngbāo wèidào hěn hǎo, nín píngshí xǐhuan chī ma?
Meaning: Thank you, Mr. Wang, but I really can't drink Chinese liquor. I'll stick with tea to toast you, if that's all right. By the way, these soup dumplings are delicious. Do you usually like them?
Host
我也很喜欢，皮薄馅儿多。您觉得今天的味道怎么样？
Reading: Wǒ yě hěn xǐhuan, pí báo xiànr duō. Nín juéde jīntiān de wèidào zěnmeyàng?
Meaning: I like them a lot too. Thin skins and lots of filling. How do you find the flavor today?
What the feedback pointed out
What the learner said
我用茶敬您，希望我们生意越来越好！
A clearer way to say it
以茶代酒
You showed strong cultural awareness by offering a polite toast with tea at a business meal. To sound even more natural, you can use the set phrase for toasting with tea in place of alcohol.
What the learner said
谢谢王先生，我平常不太喝酒。可以用茶和您干杯吗？
A clearer way to say it
我酒量不太好
You turned down the alcohol very politely while keeping the dinner friendly. To soften the refusal, you can add that you can't hold much alcohol.
What the learner said
你喜欢什么外国菜？
A clearer way to say it
您喜欢什么外国菜？
Later in the dinner you switched from the polite form of you to the informal one. Staying with the polite form for your business host keeps your tone professional.
Seating questions and the fight over the bill
The person who invited usually pays. Offering anyway is part of the ritual, and so is losing gracefully.
不好意思，我坐哪儿合适？
Reading: Bù hǎoyìsi, wǒ zuò nǎr héshì?
Meaning: Sorry, where would be the right seat for me?
Your repair phrase when you walk in and don't know the seating. In Taiwan, people say 哪裡 (nǎlǐ) instead of 哪儿.
这顿我来吧。
Reading: Zhè dùn wǒ lái ba.
Meaning: Let me get this meal.
Casual-polite. Say it once or twice. Hosts often pay quietly during the meal, so the bill may already be settled.
那就让您破费了，下次我请！
Reading: Nà jiù ràng nín pòfèi le, xià cì wǒ qǐng!
Meaning: Then thank you for treating us. Next time it's on me!
The graceful way to accept. 破费 (pòfèi) politely acknowledges that the host spent money on you.
What varies, and what has changed
Region, company, and generation
Toasting is more elaborate in some northern regions, where hosts may make several opening toasts and expect guests to keep up. In many big cities, at foreign companies, and among younger teams, dinners are lighter and many people drink little or nothing. Watch the most senior person on your side, and follow their pace.
Fewer drinks than before
Many workplaces drink less than they used to. Officials have long faced strict limits on banquets, and rules revised in 2025 say official working meals for government and Party staff should not serve alcohol. With private companies, it depends on the host.
Taiwan business dinners
Toasts at business dinners in Taiwan follow a similar idea, often with beer, wine, whisky, or sorghum liquor. You will hear 乾杯 and 隨意 used the same way, written in traditional characters, and tea in place of a drink is just as acceptable.
Decide before the first toast
If you drink with the first person and refuse the second, it can look like a snub. Choose your plan before the hosts' opening toast. If you want to tell the host quietly as you sit down, 我今天不喝酒，以茶代酒 (wǒ jīntiān bù hē jiǔ, yǐ chá dài jiǔ) is enough.
Rehearse the dinner before the real one
The toast is easy on paper and hard when the whole table turns to look at you. Practice it out loud until both sentences come out smoothly, and practice saying no to a second and third push.
- Open Create with AI and paste the description below. Change the city, the host's name, or your role to match your real dinner.
- Talk with the AI host out loud. Make your toast, then hold to your reason when the AI presses you to drink.
- Check the feedback for the learning goals you covered and the clearer way to say one of your lines. Ask the AI Coach how formal your wording sounded.
- Run it again as the senior guest who returns the host's toast for your whole team.
Describe it like this when you create the activity
I want to practice a business dinner in Mandarin Chinese at a restaurant in Shanghai. You are Mr. Wang, the host from a partner company: open with a welcome toast, wait for my toast back, then press me twice to drink baijiu while I politely decline and toast with tea, and at the end insist on paying the bill. I'm an intermediate learner.
Questions learners usually ask first
What does 我敬你一杯 mean?
It means let me drink to you, offered with respect. 敬 is a respectful way to offer something, so the speaker is honoring you with the toast. To someone senior, use 我敬您一杯 with the polite form 您.
What does 以茶代酒 mean, and is it rude?
It means using tea in place of alcohol, and it is a standard, polite way to toast without drinking. It is not rude if you still stand, raise your cup, and say a proper toast. Saying it early in the meal makes it go more smoothly.
How do you politely refuse alcohol at a dinner in China?
Give one clear reason early, such as driving, health, or an early meeting, and stick with it all evening. Toast with tea or juice so you still join every round. A friendly push to drink is often part of the ritual, so smile, repeat your reason, and the host will usually say 随意.
Do you have to finish your glass when someone says 干杯?
Not always. 干杯 literally means dry the glass, and in a one-on-one toast with liquor it can mean finish it. Many people now use it loosely and just sip. If you want to pace yourself, say 随意 as you raise your glass.